When Jesus was Troubled
In the corpus of statements by Jesus, there is one that is unique. This particular statement is recorded in John 12.27. “Now is my soul troubled.” For a moment, reflect on the nature of Jesus in relation to this statement. He is the eternal word (John 1.1-2). He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End (Revelation 1.8). He holds the power of life and death in his hands. He continually showed the reasons that we need not worry nor fear. And yet, we have this statement from him.
I wish I knew everything that went into this statement. The truth is that I am left to speculate as to the depth of this proclamation. Given what he was about to accomplish, I’m not sure my limited, human mind can fully grasp the concept of a divine being offered as a sacrifice for sin anyways. We know his troubled soul was tied, in some way, to his death. He continued in John 12.27, “And what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.”
While a troubled soul may sound familiar and reasonable to our twenty-first century ears, this has not always been the case historically. The heroes of the Mediterranean world were to be different. They were to face situations with bravery, lacking sorrow or tears—unlike the regular people who struggle through life.
So, what can I learn from this and how does this help me? Once again, I see a connection between Jesus and his creation that is almost surreal. He truly lived as one of us. He wrestled with his emotions throughout his life. I have the capacity of relating to him because I can feel his humanity throughout the gospel narratives. It is this type of savior who elicits feelings of love powerful enough to create renewal and transformation within me.
In this account, I learn that it is okay to be troubled. I also learn how to press forward despite having underlying feelings of despair. My way forward can be found in my relationship to the Father – just like Jesus. He didn’t ask for relief from his troubles. Instead, he sought the courage to proceed despite them. He understood that his service to God would be lived out in a troubled and temporary world.
I have learned that given our pandemic, some of us are troubled and some are not. One way is not to be viewed as better than another, but rather as a reflection of reality. Whether I am troubled or not, I can find solace in the fact that I have a God who understands. I can find peace in the truth that he cares.
What does the future hold? I have no idea and neither do you. Some will face detrimental situations while others will remain relatively unscathed. But that isn’t a new thing. This is our world. It is the creation of our God which was impacted with sin from the very beginning. It is the truth that remains present around us until Jesus finally destroys the last enemy—death (1 Corinthians 15.26). So, am I telling you that you have no reason to be troubled? Absolutely not. Rather, I am gently reminding us, as Christians, that our hope of bringing glory to God is still available in our distress or our confidence. Yes, we still have some restrictions. No, they have not eliminated our potential to serve our Father—just like Jesus.