Discipline of Cultivating the Soul

Disciplines of a Godly Family, part 1

Discipline of Cultivating the Soul

For the next few weeks, I will be drawing my thoughts from a book titled Disciplines of a Godly Family by Kent and Barbara Hughes.  They have some good practical ideas concerning our regular disciplines as Christian families.  Although the main thoughts will be theirs, I will be adapting them and will only offer summaries of their thoughts. 

These articles are intended for us to carefully consider the lasting lessons that we leave with our children.  However, the principles can be helpful for all relationships.  So, I encourage you to consider the following thoughts in this series even if you do not have a family that lives with you.  The first lesson is the “Discipline of Cultivating the Soul.”  Since cultivation is a process, the authors focus on several essential disciplines for this goal.

First, The Discipline of Being a Good Example.  We fool ourselves if we expect our children to develop a spiritual quality that we regularly contradict with our actions.  As Jesus began to “do and to teach” (Acts 1.1), so we must follow the same pattern.  Quoting the Puritans, the authors write, “Precept without patterns will do little good; you must lead [children] to Christ by examples as well as counsel; you must set yourselves first, and speak by lives as well as words; you must live religion as well as talk religion.”  Does living out religion guarantee that our children will follow our lead?  Absolutely not.  However, we cannot convey spiritual qualities that we do not ourselves possess. 

Second, The Discipline of Spiritual Development.  Just as children develop differently physically, so they also develop differently spiritually.  We must be concerned about spiritual development without rushing or forcing it.  Just as it is foolish to potty train a child without any bladder control or the ability to convey their need, so it is foolish to nudge our children into accepting the invitation of Jesus before they have the ability to understand the implications of that decision.  Spiritual development is about conversion of the heart, and God has given the primary responsibility for this to the parents.  Within this development, we must be careful how we address their doubts.  Trivial answers cause greater harm.  Shrugging it off can be disastrous.  We must be willing to create an open dialogue that allows the possibility for us to say, “That’s a great question; I don’t have the answer but I would love to learn about it with you.”  Most importantly, we must expect doubts and not lose our tempers and control when they occur.

Third, The Discipline of Partnering with the Church.  This is a beautiful partnership that God has created for us.  Christianity should not happen in isolation since there are many great things learned within the context of the church.  We learn to love and encourage.  We partner in worship.  We find opportunities to learn, teach, and grow.  We take part in the mission of God. 

Fourth, The Discipline of the Right Motivation.  Wrong motivations are self-defeating.  The proper motivations will influence our children’s lives in significant ways.  Some are motivated by the advantages of Christianity.  Others may be interested in the appearance of Christianity.  Neither will suffice.  Through our examples and teaching, we must convey that our motivation is the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10.31; Ephesians 3.20-21).  As the authors write, “A life focused on God’s glory will have glory for its own reward.”

These disciplines must begin and end with prayer.  I didn’t mention that here because next week’s lesson will focus entirely on prayer.  For now, prayerfully consider how well you are cultivating the souls of your children.